Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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