oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just high enough for therapy.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
