You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Your penis caused this!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
