that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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