she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
