How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
