Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
