The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
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Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
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We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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