ya dads aren't the best wingmen
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
