i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
