I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
