I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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