Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
