I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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