he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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