No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
