i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
my shit smells like andre
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
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just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
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I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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