I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i think i have herpe
just one?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
