Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize