I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
