did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
