I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
