Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
