Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
