I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
