i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize