Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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