At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now