In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize