Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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