Quick, to the slutcave!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
