She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
