Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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