we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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