I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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