he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize