is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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