ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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