Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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