hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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