Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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