I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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