you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
