If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just high enough for therapy.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize