I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
