i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
