woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize