AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
