Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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