his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
