I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Drunk is not a location!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
