I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
