he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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