i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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