I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
