maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
