Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
