About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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