in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize