I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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