No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
