It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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