one two three fourrrrnication!
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
