Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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