ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
