Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
my poor anus
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
